A Keeper At Home

"That they [the older women] may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed" (Titus 2:4,5).

What is a "keeper at home"? In many Christian circles today, this phrase has been passed around numerous times and translated to mean many different things to many different people.

The Greek definition for this phrase is "guardian of the home." In 1 Timothy 5:14, Paul says, "I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house . . . ." The Greek word for "guide" means to "rule a household; manage family affairs."

Therefore, as writer and homemaker Jennie Chancey says:
"A woman cannot be the ruler of her home if she is rarely there or if her chief concerns lie in a career that requires her to give her children to someone else to raise, neglect her role as helper to her husband, and let the culture of the home be guided by others (pop culture, peers, television, etc.)." 1

Many parents have recognized God’s design for women to be fulfilling their God-given roles as a guardians of their homes and are seeking to raise their daughters with a vision to fulfill this calling. In training their daughters accordingly, they quickly run into the issue of whether it is wrong for a young woman to be earning money.

In Scripture, we find examples of women who earned an income while still fulfilling their God-given roles. The "Virtuous Woman" described in Proverbs 31 was certainly the ideal wife and mother ("The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her . . . ." "Her children arise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her." Proverbs 31:11a, 28). Not only was she an exemplary wife and mother, she also managed a small home business. Proverbs says, "She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant" (Proverbs 31:24).

In the New Testament, Lydia is described as "a seller of purple," but more importantly, she was a worshipper of God (Acts 16:14). Scripture also gives us a beautiful example of a husband and wife team working together. Aquila and Priscilla served the Lord, while at the same time working jointly as tentmakers (Acts 18:2-3).

However, these Scriptural examples do not give a young woman license to go out and pursue a career. Rather, I believe there are some basic principles which must be followed in order for any young woman to be earning money in a God-honoring manner.

She Must Have a Home-Centered Mentality
As stated above, a woman cannot be the "guardian of her home" if she is rarely there. Not only must she be there physically; her heart must also be there. It is vitally important that daughters are trained to have a home-centered mentality. If they can learn sweet contentment in domestic duties now, they will be equipped to be wonderful wives and mothers in the future. For this reason, any job or business a young woman is to have should not take her heart or her focus away from her home.

She Must Not Neglect Her Own Home and Family
Before a young lady ever pursues starting a small business or God-honoring job, she must make sure that she is not neglecting her own family’s needs. Having a home business can be a wonderful endeavor, but it should never interfere with the responsibility she has towards those who ultimately provide for her.

She Must Work Under the Proper Authority Structure
I cannot stress this point enough. There is great danger in a woman working for a man who is not her husband or father. A staggering amount of marital infidelity has been caused by women working in such situations. God has established protection for women through their Biblical authorities.

During my life, I have held a number of different jobs but one thing has always been the same in each instance: I have either been working for my authority, for a Christian woman, or had my own business. I could never, under any circumstance, feel safe and protected doing otherwise.

It is also imperative that young women first seek the counsel and blessing of their authority before beginning any new business. If your authority has no desire for you to be earning money, I would advise you to pass this book along to someone else. God will only prosper those efforts done with the blessing of your authority.

It may appear at first that there are no jobs which would ever fit the above criteria. In actuality, there are hundreds of different opportunities and jobs perfectly suited for a Godly, virtuous young woman. All it takes to find one is a little creativity and determination.

Excerpted from Crystal Paine’s book, The Merchant Maiden: Earning an Income Without Compromising Convictions. This 32-page booklet includes ideas, personal testimonies, and encouragement for young women and women desiring to earn an income in a God-honoring manner. To order this book, visit: http://www.biblicalwomanhoodonline.com/

1. Chancey, Jennie, Can A Woman Ever Do Work Outside the Home?,
August 19, 2004

Do You Sparkle?

A few years ago, I was on a plane traveling to visit a dear friend. I was seated next to a friendly, middle-aged woman and we enjoyed good conversation on a myriad of topics. She shared with me the struggles she had been going through with various family members and the heartache it had been to her. When she asked about my life and family, I told her a little bit about my parents, family, and soon-to-be husband and how the Lord was working in our lives and leading us. She perked up and starting asking many questions. This opened the door for me to share our courtship story and what I was doing instead of going to college and why. She seemed sincerely interested in all of these things and wanted to know why we were choosing this route. This provided an open door for me to be able to share Christ with this needy woman who listened intently. When the plane landed and we parted ways, she told how much she enjoyed meeting me and ended our conversation with, "You really sparkle!"

I praise God that my life was able to be a testimony to her that day. If I sparkle, it is God sparkling through me! My parents named me "Crystal" because it means "brilliantly clear, pure, radiant Christian." My middle name means: "Victory of the people." My parents' vision for me since birth was that I would be a radiant, victorious Christian for the glory of God. I want God's love and God's grace to sparkle through my life! I want others to see a difference in me. If I'm not sparkling, something is wrong.

Christians should be the most contented, joyous, radiant, beautiful people alive. We are children of the King of kings!

Not Just a Starter

As some of you may have noticed from reading my blog or interacting with me, I'm a great starter and always have lots of new ideas floating around in my "overactive" brain. But what you probably also have noticed is that I am not the best at actually completing tasks. Has anyone else noticed an excessive amount of "Part 1" posts I've done and then never followed up with a "Part 2"? I love starting new things-- new books to read (I have probably at least 20 started right now, I'm embarrassed to admit), new projects to sew (Just take a peek into my craft area in the closet to figure this one out!), and new business ideas (Don't even ask how many business ideas poor Jesse has had to talk me out of! Like I really can add anything to my schedule! Yet, I always think, "C'mon, just this one more thing. It's a great idea, it won't take that much time. I promise I'll try to have dinner on time from now on and no more clean laundry piles on the bed, and yes, I WILL make sure there are sheets on the bed tonight.")

But, finishing? What's that?

I have often found myself envying those people who can have one project and they can stick with that one project until it is done and then they move on to the next thing. Me try to do that? You've got to be kidding! Instead, it seems our home is one big string of unfinished projects-- laundry to fold over here, books to read in that corner, letters to answer over there, a cleaning project to finish. I guess I could very well fit the classification of a Sidetracked Home Executive. If it weren't for my inability to stand clutter and mess, our home might very well constantly look like a tornado had just swept through!

I'm so thankful that God is not just a starter, He is also a Finisher. I was reading a sermon by C.H. Spurgeon this morning and this quotation struck me: "Many people have only believed in God to save them for a time; so long as they are faithful, or so long as they are earnest. Beloved, believe in God to keep you faithful and earnest all your life: take a ticket all the way through. Get a salvation which covers all risks. There is no other ticket issued from the authorized office but a through-ticket. Other tickets are forgeries. He that cannot keep you for ever cannot keep you a day. If the power of regeneration will not last through life, it may not last an hour. Faith in the everlasting covenant stirs my heart's blood, fills me with grateful joy, inspires me with confidence, fires me with enthusiasm. I can never give up my belief in what the Lord hath said, 'And I will make an everlasting covenant with them, that I will not turn away from them, to do them good; but I will put my fear in their hearts, that they shall not depart from me.' "

Attacking the Clutter Monster

I grew up in a very well-ordered, clean home, so this definitely has affected the way we live now. My mom never wanted to have more than we needed and it was a constant joke that she was always purging our home of excess to give away to our local DAV (it seemed we almost had a monthly pick-up date where they would bring their truck and cart off all of our extra stuff to the thrift store!). I learned to love the look of a clean, clutter-free home, so that is what I am always working to have now that I have my own home to keep.

I love pretty things and color, but most of all I love the color white--- white walls, white tile, and light-colored carpet (not at all practical with a lot of young children, I know!). I just love the look of spacious, open, unpiled, clutter-free areas. I'm not saying my home is always that way, but it's my goal!

I am constantly trying to improve in this area, but here are some things which have helped me:

• A place for everything and everything in its place (or at least that's the goal). I know you've heard this so many times, but do you have a place for everything in your home? Where do your shoes go when you take them off? Where does your purse go when you get home? And so on. If there isn't a place for something, find a place for it, or get rid of it. This also saves you a lot of time you would otherwise spend looking for lost items.

• When in doubt, throw it out. :) Don't hang on to something you think you might use in the future; just throw it out or find someone else who can use it. Bless other people with your stuff you are not using. If I don't have a use for something, I'd rather see it be put to use in someone else's home than taking up space in my own home!

• Eliminate and concentrate. Eliminate that which distracts you so that you can concentrate on what God has called you to.

• Keep it Simple. Don't have more than you need. Examine your belongings: How many pairs of shoes do you need? You can easily get by with three pairs or less. How many everyday clothes? You can easily get by with 5 outfits or less. How many dressier clothes? You can easily get by with 2-3 outfits or less. How many toys do your children need? Probably none, because most children prefer to play with "non-toy items" anyway!

This is just a very small start on some basic principles I try to follow (not perfectly, mind you! I have a lot left to learn!). I hope to write a Part 2 (and maybe even Part 3 or more) with some practical ideas that have been helpful. I'd love to have everyone else chime in and share how they reduce clutter in their own home. Also, what books or websites have been helpful to you in this endeavor?